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First and foremost, I like that you start right in with the action. I think a lot of writers get a little description heavy in their pr...

by Anzelya

First and foremost, I like that you begin with a quote. “If you spent half the time you spend on pondering over right and wrong on elim...


On Behalf of :icongrammarnazicritiques: First Impressions You do a really nice job of grasping the readers attention. This is one of the few stories i've read o...


This was a very cute story. To start off, In the first paragraph you say, "Unfortunately for me, my..." I think it would flow better if...


This piece has a very nice flow to it; I quite enjoyed the fact that you were able to say a lot with your poem without having to make i...


The first thing that came to mind after reading this was how it was it was like two poems in one. I felt like I could take out the seco...

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Counting the Ringsi
near my sick bed
he murmurs of how he's crumbling
but I'm still here
I've fought so long, I'm here
for a while I trust
I believe this, I must
even when it's bad, because
his faith alone is not enough
my random thoughts of how long
I have, and his thoughts of
"will she be able to outlive me" -
even at moments like this
it happens that
we hold on and speak of a future
ii
rolling restless this early morn'
you exhausted and I
drying up from a virus
spying through the shredding
of 250-thread count bedding,
between the hillocks of your shoulders
we never can sleep
in anticipation for what's to come
to plant the seed and watch it grow
though we will never see it bloom
for all the other things we know
and live beyond that fertile past
of what we did and what we'll do
as sleep will still not come to us
close apart, we dare not fall
from the tree that burns in season
counting the rings of our poetry
iii
the moon has set,
I wake in the dark
to the rush of wind
I hear him rinsing off
in the basi
ControlThe feeling came over Bill when he was out checking his trap line in the dying light of a winter evening. Eyes on the back of his head. He knew the wary scrutiny of the deer and the hungry yet restrained gaze of the wolf. This didn't feel like either. It didn't belong to this place any more than he did. He would have preferred the wolf.
He turned around, shook his gun at the reddening sky, and cupped his other hand to his mouth. "I know you're out there! This is private property! I don't wanna use this, but you'll leave me no choice if I catch you hanging around here!"
A soft rustle from somewhere deep enough that the trees obscured his vision. He waited until he felt he was alone again, then trudged through the snow to see what he could learn about the intruder. There were prints made by boots similar to his, though smaller. The thought that he outweighed whoever it was offered little comfort.
He cast one last disgusted look in the direction the tracks took as they moved away, then re
Mollie's Ribbons     I grew up in a small town just a few dozen miles from the closest water source—a slowly shrinking aquifer that squatted underneath the seat of Thompson County, our neighborly border. Fortunately, we hadn't yet been quite as devastated by our annual droughts as those in Oklahoma and Texas. Rumors would occasionally drift in with a tumbleweed traveler about how bad the deep South had dried up into nothing but an old dusty lake bed, but these flashes of news were too few and too far between to be counted on as up to date or even true.
     Once, I heard one of my distant cousins, a boy by the name of Harold, was said to have been caught up in a barn somewhere in Oklahoma during a storm where only the dirt blows—the dust and dirt block out the sun and the air until you get blown away with it. Apparently, poor old Harold had been caught up in that barn for so long (five days according to old Miss Harris) he eventually just smo
Empty GardensIt was a wine-petaled pansy
that my mother pruned from the garden box;
it reminded me
that I had blossomed late and wilted.
At fourteen I created pansy petals of my own,
waking up with hot-fisted cramps
and the proof I was a woman.
I was not a rose, perennial,
as I went from blooming monthly
to not at all.
I would rather spend a day
curled up like the fetus I may never carry
than flat on my back wondering
why God allowed worse women than me
to bear children.
Wanderer I by MarkusOskarsson:thumb174177458:

Horror Films I Like

I'm A Ringer by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A Grudge Holder by PsychoSlaughterman I'm In Love With It by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A JigSaw Apprentice by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A Hannibal Aficionado by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A Jason Junkie by PsychoSlaughterman I'm Psycho For Norman by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A LeatherFace Lover by PsychoSlaughterman

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60 deviations

Contest: Childhood Fears

Sun Dec 7, 2014, 4:38 PM

Contest: Childhood Fears

Sun Dec 7, 2014, 4:38 PM
Although, I've been gone since the start of September and have been busy with school and the army, I have still had the time to do some reading. Thought I'd make a journal out of it. Maybe you'll find a book that may interest you. (My descriptions of the books are going to be lame, but you'll get the point) 

1. Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky 

    This short novel is written in the form of journal entries by the main character Charlie. It's a coming-of-age type novel about a shy and unpopular teenager who goes through different experiences in High school. The novel addressees themes such as Drugs, sex, introversion and sexuality.

Was it the best book I have ever read? No. But it deserves a read.

Rate: 6/10 

2. Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane 

    U.S Marshall Edward Daniels arrives on Shutter Island to solve the disappearance of a mental patient. He soon learns that everything is not what it seems, and that the Psychiatrists on the Island may be conducting illegal experiments on the patients. Edward Daniels also learns that he may not only have to solve the crime of the missing patient but also figure out how to escape the island himself. 

I really enjoyed this book, granted I had seen the movie version a few years before reading it. I don't really like the mystery genre, but this book really kept you on edge. If you like Psychological thrillers this is a good read. 

Rate: 8/10 

3. The Atlantis Plague by A.G. Riddle 

    This is the second installment of the Atlantis plague series. A virus has been exposed to the human populace, and only those who have the "Atlantis gene" can survive its effects. We also learn that the Atlantian race, which was thought to have died out thousands of years ago has actually been in hibernation, waiting for the human race to die out. 

If you like science fiction and books about plagues, viruses and genetics this is for you. The author also mixes in a lot of history and facts, which I always like. 

Rate: 7/10 (The 1st book was better)

4. Yellow Crocus by Laila Ibrahim 

    This book tells the story of a wet nurse of a prosperous family during the 1830s. The main character, Matty, is separated from her own family in order to take care her master's daughter Lisbeth. During this time both Matty and Lisbeth learn what it is like to live in each others shoes during a time of oppression. Although, Lisbeth is handed everything in life, while Matty is given nothing as a slave, she learns that Matty is a lot happier with her family than Lisbeth is with her own. 

I'm going to be honest, this book made me cry a little. I definitely would recommend that everyone read this at least once. I would compare this book to The Help. It's a very good read. 

Rate: 9/10 

5. The Dirty Parts of The Bible by Sam Torode 

    This is a short novel, which follows the story of Tobias who is sent on a journey, by his father, to find a secret stash of money. Tobias is the son of a Baptist in Remus Michigan who goes blind after an accident with a bird, as a result his father can no longer run the church and is in danger of being evicted from their house. Tobias joins forces with a group of hobos and farmhands in order to find the loot his father hid over twenty years ago. 

This book is basically the retelling of the Tobias and Sarah story from the Bible. I like the concept, but it came across as a little Catcher in the Rye to me. I think I would have enjoyed it more if I knew a little more about the different tales in the Bible. Again, it's kind of a coming-of-age novel. 

Rate: 5/10 (If you read the ending of this book, you'll understand why it got a low rating) 

6. Boys for Sale by Marc Finks 

    This book is about the Sex trafficking of young boys, which happens right under our noses. This book follows the story of Tavi who was tricked into leaving his village to go to a "school" for free. He soon learns that he was not taken to a school and that he will have to pay off his freedom in unimaginable ways. 

This is a book that is extremely hard to stomach as it goes into very graphic detail about what happens to the boys who are kidnapped and auctioned off as sex slaves. (I had to skip a few pages because it was hard to read) That being said, it is an eye opener into a world that still exists. 

Rate: 8/10 

That is all. Hopefully some of these are interesting to you. :) 

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Dr-Vergissmeinnicht
Nox
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
My Favorite Series
Black Dagger Brotherhood by J.R. Ward
Dark-Hunter by Sherrilyn Kenyon
Immortals After Dark by Kresley Cole
Demonica by Larissa Ione
The Hollows by Kim Harrison
Fever by Karen Marie Moning
Lords of Deliverance by Larissa Ione
Lords of the Underworld by Gena Showalter
If you have any questions regarding writing, send me a note. If you need critiques, I would suggest submitting to the GrammarNaziCritiques group, we are very nice there, I promise!

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Books You Should Read
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys
Heartsick by Chelsea Cain
Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison
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Webcam

What is your favorite genre of video games? (+5 points for recommending a game) 

45%
15 deviants said Adventure (Skyrim, Assassin's Creed)
27%
9 deviants said Other/More than one/Video games are a waste of time (Comment)
9%
3 deviants said Story heavy (Bioshock, Dishonored)
6%
2 deviants said Strategy (Age of Empires, Dawn of War)
3%
1 deviant said Horror (Amnesia, Doom 3, Cry of Fear)
3%
1 deviant said Action (Call of Duty, Spec Ops: The Line)
3%
1 deviant said MMORPG (RUST, Dark Souls II, DOTA 2)
3%
1 deviant said Indie (Garry's Mod, The Cat Lady)
0%
No deviants said Casual (Solitaire, Candy Crush, Portal)
0%
No deviants said Sports (FIFA 15)

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014   Writer
bby
you need to see this

news.distractify.com/pinar/cat…
Reply
:icondr-vergissmeinnicht:
Dr-Vergissmeinnicht Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
LOL. What have our lives come to. I want to live in a world with cats with cartoon eyes. 
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014   Writer
well, if it helps, we live in this world:  www.facebook.com/video.php?v=9…

that is the best thing i've ever seen on the internet and i've seen a lot
Reply
:icondr-vergissmeinnicht:
Dr-Vergissmeinnicht Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
hahah, omg. He has a ton of shit to clean up. I love those vids tho. 
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014   Writer
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014
I dropped by and happened on the link you left so of course I just had to check it out.  After all, the word "bouncy" always makes me perk up.  But the piece is no longer available! :cries:
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014   Writer
it was probably a booty-popping video.  we like to share the good ones with each other
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2014
:giggle: Ahh, okay.
Reply
:iconsavagefrog:
SavageFrog Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Dat snake in dat webcam. So beautiful. :giggle:
Reply
:icondr-vergissmeinnicht:
Dr-Vergissmeinnicht Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
haha, it's such a sassy snake, I love it. 
Reply
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