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First and foremost, I like that you start right in with the action. I think a lot of writers get a little description heavy in their pr...

by Anzelya

First and foremost, I like that you begin with a quote. “If you spent half the time you spend on pondering over right and wrong on elim...


On Behalf of :icongrammarnazicritiques: First Impressions You do a really nice job of grasping the readers attention. This is one of the few stories i've read o...


This was a very cute story. To start off, In the first paragraph you say, "Unfortunately for me, my..." I think it would flow better if...


This piece has a very nice flow to it; I quite enjoyed the fact that you were able to say a lot with your poem without having to make i...


The first thing that came to mind after reading this was how it was it was like two poems in one. I felt like I could take out the seco...

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Featured DD's Ive Suggested

Counting the Ringsi
near my sick bed
he murmurs of how he's crumbling
but I'm still here
I've fought so long, I'm here
for a while I trust
I believe this, I must
even when it's bad, because
his faith alone is not enough
my random thoughts of how long
I have, and his thoughts of
"will she be able to outlive me" -
even at moments like this
it happens that
we hold on and speak of a future
ii
rolling restless this early morn'
you exhausted and I
drying up from a virus
spying through the shredding
of 250-thread count bedding,
between the hillocks of your shoulders
we never can sleep
in anticipation for what's to come
to plant the seed and watch it grow
though we will never see it bloom
for all the other things we know
and live beyond that fertile past
of what we did and what we'll do
as sleep will still not come to us
close apart, we dare not fall
from the tree that burns in season
counting the rings of our poetry
iii
the moon has set,
I wake in the dark
to the rush of wind
I hear him rinsing off
in the basi
ControlThe feeling came over Bill when he was out checking his trap line in the dying light of a winter evening. Eyes on the back of his head. He knew the wary scrutiny of the deer and the hungry yet restrained gaze of the wolf. This didn't feel like either. It didn't belong to this place any more than he did. He would have preferred the wolf.
He turned around, shook his gun at the reddening sky, and cupped his other hand to his mouth. "I know you're out there! This is private property! I don't wanna use this, but you'll leave me no choice if I catch you hanging around here!"
A soft rustle from somewhere deep enough that the trees obscured his vision. He waited until he felt he was alone again, then trudged through the snow to see what he could learn about the intruder. There were prints made by boots similar to his, though smaller. The thought that he outweighed whoever it was offered little comfort.
He cast one last disgusted look in the direction the tracks took as they moved away, then re
Mollie's Ribbons     I grew up in a small town just a few dozen miles from the closest water source—a slowly shrinking aquifer that squatted underneath the seat of Thompson County, our neighborly border. Fortunately, we hadn't yet been quite as devastated by our annual droughts as those in Oklahoma and Texas. Rumors would occasionally drift in with a tumbleweed traveler about how bad the deep South had dried up into nothing but an old dusty lake bed, but these flashes of news were too few and too far between to be counted on as up to date or even true.
     Once, I heard one of my distant cousins, a boy by the name of Harold, was said to have been caught up in a barn somewhere in Oklahoma during a storm where only the dirt blows—the dust and dirt block out the sun and the air until you get blown away with it. Apparently, poor old Harold had been caught up in that barn for so long (five days according to old Miss Harris) he eventually just smo
Empty GardensIt was a wine-petaled pansy
that my mother pruned from the garden box;
it reminded me
that I had blossomed late and wilted.
At fourteen I created pansy petals of my own,
waking up with hot-fisted cramps
and the proof I was a woman.
I was not a rose, perennial,
as I went from blooming monthly
to not at all.
I would rather spend a day
curled up like the fetus I may never carry
than flat on my back wondering
why God allowed worse women than me
to bear children.
Wanderer I by MarkusOskarsson:thumb174177458:

Horror Films I Like

I'm A Ringer by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A Grudge Holder by PsychoSlaughterman I'm In Love With It by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A JigSaw Apprentice by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A Hannibal Aficionado by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A Jason Junkie by PsychoSlaughterman I'm Psycho For Norman by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A LeatherFace Lover by PsychoSlaughterman

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Forgot to Mention

Tue Jan 27, 2015, 1:31 PM
I don't usually advertise on here, but I recently began my own Gaming Channel on YouTube. It's something I have been meaning to do for the last few years and just got around to it. If you're bored and want to watch me suck at everything, here is the link: www.youtube.com/channel/UCqUtw…

I only have 14 videos and no subscribers because I'm a square, so bare with me. ( Still working on fixing audio and editing) :V 

That is all. 

The Semester Begins

Sun Jan 25, 2015, 10:59 AM
The semester starts tomorrow, which means I will probably disappear from dA for a few months just like I did last September. 

I am taking six courses (Most of them math) so shoot me. 

I also just became the treasurer for an organization and will spend a lot of my free time budgeting as well as planning events. 

I just contracted with the National Guard and will continue my training to become an Officer throughout the semester. 

The next four months will entail getting up at 5am and being out and about until 10-11pm. I'll be around, but I won't be "around"

I'll be posting more discussion articles throughout the semester, so I won't completely disappear. But who knows.

Anyways,

Bye.  

Forgot to Mention

Tue Jan 27, 2015, 1:31 PM
I don't usually advertise on here, but I recently began my own Gaming Channel on YouTube. It's something I have been meaning to do for the last few years and just got around to it. If you're bored and want to watch me suck at everything, here is the link: www.youtube.com/channel/UCqUtw…

I only have 14 videos and no subscribers because I'm a square, so bare with me. ( Still working on fixing audio and editing) :V 

That is all. 

The Semester Begins

Sun Jan 25, 2015, 10:59 AM
The semester starts tomorrow, which means I will probably disappear from dA for a few months just like I did last September. 

I am taking six courses (Most of them math) so shoot me. 

I also just became the treasurer for an organization and will spend a lot of my free time budgeting as well as planning events. 

I just contracted with the National Guard and will continue my training to become an Officer throughout the semester. 

The next four months will entail getting up at 5am and being out and about until 10-11pm. I'll be around, but I won't be "around"

I'll be posting more discussion articles throughout the semester, so I won't completely disappear. But who knows.

Anyways,

Bye.  

deviantID

Dr-Vergissmeinnicht
Nox
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
My Favorite Series
Black Dagger Brotherhood by J.R. Ward
Dark-Hunter by Sherrilyn Kenyon
Immortals After Dark by Kresley Cole
Demonica by Larissa Ione
The Hollows by Kim Harrison
Fever by Karen Marie Moning
Lords of Deliverance by Larissa Ione
Lords of the Underworld by Gena Showalter
If you have any questions regarding writing, send me a note. If you need critiques, I would suggest submitting to the GrammarNaziCritiques group, we are very nice there, I promise!

Join my movement to prove Nicolas Cage Is Not A Real Person
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Why I am On DeviantArt
:bulletred:To get more experience as a writer
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Feel free to send me a note with any questions ;P

Books You Should Read
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys
Heartsick by Chelsea Cain
Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison
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What is your favorite genre of video games? (+5 points for recommending a game) 

45%
15 deviants said Adventure (Skyrim, Assassin's Creed)
27%
9 deviants said Other/More than one/Video games are a waste of time (Comment)
9%
3 deviants said Story heavy (Bioshock, Dishonored)
6%
2 deviants said Strategy (Age of Empires, Dawn of War)
3%
1 deviant said Horror (Amnesia, Doom 3, Cry of Fear)
3%
1 deviant said Action (Call of Duty, Spec Ops: The Line)
3%
1 deviant said MMORPG (RUST, Dark Souls II, DOTA 2)
3%
1 deviant said Indie (Garry's Mod, The Cat Lady)
0%
No deviants said Casual (Solitaire, Candy Crush, Portal)
0%
No deviants said Sports (FIFA 15)

Comments


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:iconbattlefairies:
BATTLEFAIRIES Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015
Thank you very much for +Watching me!
Reply
:icondr-vergissmeinnicht:
Dr-Vergissmeinnicht Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
anytime, I like what you have to say in the forums ;P
Reply
:iconbattlefairies:
BATTLEFAIRIES Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015
Damn, now you'll get to see me gossip about forumgoers in the 5th and 6th replies on stuff...

INFINITE CURSES! MY CLEVER RUSE! HAV - The Wizard 3
Reply
:icondr-vergissmeinnicht:
Dr-Vergissmeinnicht Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
awyis :P
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014   Writer
bby
you need to see this

news.distractify.com/pinar/cat…
Reply
:icondr-vergissmeinnicht:
Dr-Vergissmeinnicht Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
LOL. What have our lives come to. I want to live in a world with cats with cartoon eyes. 
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014   Writer
well, if it helps, we live in this world:  www.facebook.com/video.php?v=9…

that is the best thing i've ever seen on the internet and i've seen a lot
Reply
:icondr-vergissmeinnicht:
Dr-Vergissmeinnicht Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
hahah, omg. He has a ton of shit to clean up. I love those vids tho. 
Reply
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014   Writer
Reply
:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014
I dropped by and happened on the link you left so of course I just had to check it out.  After all, the word "bouncy" always makes me perk up.  But the piece is no longer available! :cries:
Reply
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