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First and foremost, I like that you start right in with the action. I think a lot of writers get a little description heavy in their pr...

by Anzelya

First and foremost, I like that you begin with a quote. “If you spent half the time you spend on pondering over right and wrong on elim...


On Behalf of :icongrammarnazicritiques: First Impressions You do a really nice job of grasping the readers attention. This is one of the few stories i've read o...


This was a very cute story. To start off, In the first paragraph you say, "Unfortunately for me, my..." I think it would flow better if...


This piece has a very nice flow to it; I quite enjoyed the fact that you were able to say a lot with your poem without having to make i...


The first thing that came to mind after reading this was how it was it was like two poems in one. I felt like I could take out the seco...

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Counting the Ringsi
near my sick bed
he murmurs of how he's crumbling
but I'm still here
I've fought so long, I'm here
for a while I trust
I believe this, I must
even when it's bad, because
his faith alone is not enough
my random thoughts of how long
I have, and his thoughts of
"will she be able to outlive me" -
even at moments like this
it happens that
we hold on and speak of a future
ii
rolling restless this early morn'
you exhausted and I
drying up from a virus
spying through the shredding
of 250-thread count bedding,
between the hillocks of your shoulders
we never can sleep
in anticipation for what's to come
to plant the seed and watch it grow
though we will never see it bloom
for all the other things we know
and live beyond that fertile past
of what we did and what we'll do
as sleep will still not come to us
close apart, we dare not fall
from the tree that burns in season
counting the rings of our poetry
iii
the moon has set,
I wake in the dark
to the rush of wind
I hear him rinsing off
in the basi
ControlThe feeling came over Bill when he was out checking his trap line in the dying light of a winter evening. Eyes on the back of his head. He knew the wary scrutiny of the deer and the hungry yet restrained gaze of the wolf. This didn't feel like either. It didn't belong to this place any more than he did. He would have preferred the wolf.
He turned around, shook his gun at the reddening sky, and cupped his other hand to his mouth. "I know you're out there! This is private property! I don't wanna use this, but you'll leave me no choice if I catch you hanging around here!"
A soft rustle from somewhere deep enough that the trees obscured his vision. He waited until he felt he was alone again, then trudged through the snow to see what he could learn about the intruder. There were prints made by boots similar to his, though smaller. The thought that he outweighed whoever it was offered little comfort.
He cast one last disgusted look in the direction the tracks took as they moved away, then re
Mollie's Ribbons     I grew up in a small town just a few dozen miles from the closest water source—a slowly shrinking aquifer that squatted underneath the seat of Thompson County, our neighborly border. Fortunately, we hadn't yet been quite as devastated by our annual droughts as those in Oklahoma and Texas. Rumors would occasionally drift in with a tumbleweed traveler about how bad the deep South had dried up into nothing but an old dusty lake bed, but these flashes of news were too few and too far between to be counted on as up to date or even true.
     Once, I heard one of my distant cousins, a boy by the name of Harold, was said to have been caught up in a barn somewhere in Oklahoma during a storm where only the dirt blows—the dust and dirt block out the sun and the air until you get blown away with it. Apparently, poor old Harold had been caught up in that barn for so long (five days according to old Miss Harris) he eventually just smo
Long Time ComingMonday morning. Early, so early he can see his breath, has to wipe the liquid haze from the prefab's kitchenette window in order to even see out in to the carpark. But then this was how to get ahead, wasn't it. How to impress the boss, make your mark, all this working extra, working around the clock. So reliable and loyal and dutiful.
He glances up, peers at the white plastic dial ticking away above the doorjamb. Quarter to: Frank's due in by seven. In theory anyway. He flicks off the warmly ticking coffee machine, takes the steamed milk and teaspoons it out carefully across the caramel-hued crema, makes a fern shape on Frank's. A nice little personal touch. A sign hopefully of an employee doing more than the strictly necessary, a sign of an employee willing to go the extra mile.
At least this way, maybe he'd get one up on Michael, for once. Now wouldn't that be something. He can picture Michael's face now, the ugly fusion of fury and fear, deposed at last from his slimy throne, c
Empty GardensIt was a wine-petaled pansy
that my mother pruned from the garden box;
it reminded me
that I had blossomed late and wilted.
At fourteen I created pansy petals of my own,
waking up with hot-fisted cramps
and the proof I was a woman.
I was not a rose, perennial,
as I went from blooming monthly
to not at all.
I would rather spend a day
curled up like the fetus I may never carry
than flat on my back wondering
why God allowed worse women than me
to bear children.
Wanderer I by MarkusOskarsson MotherhoodI am a shrill mother, sometimes cruel mother
Thumping the bible of maternal knowledge;
If a mother were ever to eat her young
I can assure you it would be out of love
Digesting sorrow with the bone and sinew.
Communications 101Manning the phones at a crisis hotline was the only job I could get with my degree in communications.  I hadn’t worked since graduation.  Whenever I got a call from someone lamenting a decision they’d made, it was all I could do to keep from telling them they didn’t know what regret was.  
However, from midnight to eight in the morning three days a week, it wasn’t about me.  I had to keep people alive with my words.  No pressure.  
My line blinked.  I picked up.
“Hello, this is Brian.”
Silence at first.  Fairly typical.
“Hello?”
Muffled giggles and a click.  Also fairly typical.
I felt like I’d been punked by my high school guidance counselor.
Blink.
“Hello, this is Brian.”
“Hello?”
“Yes, I’m here.  Is there something on your mind tonight?” I asked.  
“Something on my mind and your name spelled backwards is ‘brain’.”  They hung up.
I had forty grand in student loans.

Horror Films I Like

I'm A Ringer by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A Grudge Holder by PsychoSlaughterman I'm In Love With It by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A JigSaw Apprentice by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A Hannibal Aficionado by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A Jason Junkie by PsychoSlaughterman I'm Psycho For Norman by PsychoSlaughterman I'm A LeatherFace Lover by PsychoSlaughterman

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I am leaving tomorrow morning around 4am to go to an Officer's Training session for a month. During this month I will have no internet access or phone access. I will return on July 25th and respond to all of your hate mail then. 
:wave: Hey everyone! It's been a while since I wrote up one of these. I was originally going to talk about Social Justice Warriors (SJW) today, but I need more time to write up the article on that topic since I don't want to seem too biased on the subject. 

The Tuesday Topic for this week is on The Bystander Effect

What It Is: 

"The bystander effect occurs when the presence of others hinders an individual from intervening in an emergency situation." (Source: Psychology Today) 



History Of The Bystander Effect: 

     

In 1964 Kitty Genovese was murdered outside of her apartment, and it is believed that over thirty people witnessed the attack but failed to call the police in time. As a result Social Psychologists Bibb Latane and John Darley began to study the reasons why people failed to act when in a group setting.  

Symptoms of The Bystander Effect: 

:bulletred: Expectations of Others

In an emergency situation people often try to find someone who is the most qualified to help, thus eliminating themselves of the responsibility. 

Example: A family to trapped in a car and onlookers ask only the men to help get them out. (This is an extreme example, but you get the idea.) 

This is an issue because we cannot know how qualified someone is based on their gender or what they look like, which is why it is essential for everyone to do their part. (Something as small as calling the police or getting contact information) 

:bulletred: Ambiguity of the situation

     

Ambiguity refers to something being up for interpretation because it is unclear. Ex. "Jill saw the man with the binoculars." It isn't clear whether Jill or the man has the binoculars, so it's up to anyone to make a guess. 

Ambiguity is an issue in regard to the Bystander Effect because one person may see a situation as an emergency, while someone else may not see it as an emergency. This was the case with Kitty Genovese. Many of the witnesses believed that she was having a fight with a boyfriend and didn't think it was an emergency. 

:bulletred: Diffusion of Responsibility 

Social Psychologists Latane and Darley found that people were less likely to react to a situation if there were in a group of people. An individual might feel less responsible in a situation because there are other people that can take responsibility or the blame. It becomes an issue when everyone thinks the same thing. i.e. You think John will help the victim, but John thinks you will help them.

     

Have you ever played rock, paper, and scissors to try to get out of doing something? 

:bulletred: It's not my problem mentality 


Famous Cases:

2011-Wang Yue 

     

Wang Yue was a Two Year old Chinese girl who was run over by two vehicles and left bleeding in the street. She wasn't taken to the hospital until a few hours later and died eight days after.


1993-Kevin Carter 

     

Carter was a South African photojournalist who came under fire for his photo of a starving African child crawling to a food station. The child was being followed by a Vulture who was waiting for the child to die. It's unknown if Carter helped the child. People were furious of the picture because Carter was taking the photo of a suffering child for shock value. The photo won a Pulitzer prize in 1994. 

Discussion Questions

Have you ever been in a situation where you were afraid to act because other people were present? 

Do you think the Bystander Effect is a real issue? 

If there a cure or a way to fix the Bystander problem? 

Other comments and questions. 

Note: I'm going back to add more stuff, just needed to get something out before the end of Tuesday. 


          









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Dr-Vergissmeinnicht
Nox
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
My Favorite Series
Black Dagger Brotherhood by J.R. Ward
Dark-Hunter by Sherrilyn Kenyon
Immortals After Dark by Kresley Cole
Demonica by Larissa Ione
The Hollows by Kim Harrison
Fever by Karen Marie Moning
Lords of Deliverance by Larissa Ione
Lords of the Underworld by Gena Showalter
If you have any questions regarding writing, send me a note. If you need critiques, I would suggest submitting to the GrammarNaziCritiques group, we are very nice there, I promise!

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Books You Should Read
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys
Heartsick by Chelsea Cain
Dead Witch Walking by Kim Harrison
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Ye Old Annual Coffee Vs. Tea Poll 

36%
9 deviants said Tea
24%
6 deviants said Coffee
16%
4 deviants said Cats
12%
3 deviants said Both
8%
2 deviants said Neither
4%
1 deviant said Other things
0%
No deviants said I only drink water because I am a boring and useless member of society

Comments


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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
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:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014   Writer
holy dogshit
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:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
love you
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:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2014   Writer
you're not my real mom
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(1 Reply)
:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2014   Writer
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:icondr-vergissmeinnicht:
Dr-Vergissmeinnicht Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I force my cats to do that all the time. 
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:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014   Writer
my cat used to poop on my pillow
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:icondr-vergissmeinnicht:
Dr-Vergissmeinnicht Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I took my cats to the bet the other day and one of them peed inside of the cat carrier and then my mom accidentally poured it out on her pant leg. 
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(1 Reply)
:iconmf1989:
MF1989 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Ty for the fav!
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:iconraspil:
raspil Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014   Writer
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