literature

Lullabies of The Dead

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Dr-Vergissmeinnicht's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

Barren as a desert,
is the heart of many
   -They don't know what is about to come.
A crying child,
is the pleasure of many.

A raven sits,
upon the shoulder
    -Eyes like fire to see the soul.
A master of disguise,
is this fine little advisor.

The sun rises,
and her lips move
    -An intimidating smirk to bring down armies.
A raised hand,
will calm the storm.

Eyes will shake,
and bones will break
    -A feared ruler to cast the first stone.
Shadows of the dead,
will sing the lullabies.
poem
© 2012 - 2024 Dr-Vergissmeinnicht
Comments8
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EndlessDoubt's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Originality
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

Lullabies of the dead is one of those poems that take the most out of free verse. We can appreciate how the third verse of each stanza puts an emphasis in a certain fact or image.

It has pretty good rhythm, even with the irregular layout. The third verse of each stanza breaks with the rhythm, but in a rather pleasant way. It is directly resumed at the fourth verse.
It sounds marvellous when reading it out loud. The flow is flawless.

The imagery is well constructed with technique ranging from simple enunciation to metaphors and comparisons. I would have liked to see more in this aspect though, like alliterations.

That's about it. I like this poem, but I feel there could be so much more to it. A wider use of techniques would have been nice. You achieved to show how the lack of metric in poetry doesn't actually mess with the flow or rhythm of poems. You managed also to get a pretty nice layout.